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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608057">a nostalgia for now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafletter/pseuds/leafletter'>leafletter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Childhood Friends, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:40:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608057</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafletter/pseuds/leafletter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For someone of a looming 190cm stature, you'd think Tsukishima Kei would have no problem with growing. It makes sense though, growing taller and growing up are two entirely different things. He won't admit it, but Yamaguchi Tadashi makes him extremely afraid to do the latter.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the outset</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everyone, I am new to the hq!! fandom, but have loved every second of it so far. Tsukishima is my favorite character, and I couldn't get this idea out of my head during one of my walks. I hope you enjoy my very first fanfiction! </p><p>Inspired by:<br/>(1) One of my friend's favorite things: “the middle” of everything. The beginning is awkward, and comes before the good part. The middle is perfect, it feels like forever. Until it isn’t, and the ending comes. </p><p>(2) My love for long walks. </p><p>SPOILER WARNINGS:<br/>This fic includes teeny-tiny canon snippets from the training camp arc, post-nationals arc, and some time-skip info (i.e. which team Tsukishima ends up on post-graduation). There’s not a whole lot of detail but if you want to go into these things 100% cold I would not read this fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Thank you!!!” </p><p>Kei stared blankly at the small boy in front of him. Right now he could only see the top of the boy’s greenish black mop of hair, since the small boy was currently trembling, locked in a deep bow of respect. When the boy finally stood upright again, Kei tilted his head, no remembrance of what he did to deserve this gratitude. </p><p>The boy, who he would learn was named Yamaguchi Tadashi, blushed, obviously flustered. Kei patiently observed Tadashi, who tucked a messy strand of hair behind his ear, which didn’t really help matters because he still had a massive flyaway standing up on the top of his head. </p><p>“The park, the other day. You saved me from them. I was able to go home peacefully after that. I wanted to thank you for what you did.” Tadashi’s words seemed to tumble out all at once, stumbling over each other as he tried to explain. </p><p>Kei’s eyes slightly widened as he remembered that afternoon he had been walking from school. He recalled hearing cries for help from the park, and against his better judgment he had slightly modified his path home to walk through the park to see what was going on. To his disappointment, it was four kids in a tussle, three of them ganging up on the fourth. It wasn’t really a fight since the fourth was obviously surrendering, crying on the ground. </p><p>Kei had stated what was on his mind: “Pathetic.” What was a fight without a fair opponent? </p><p>Taken aback, the bullies had scampered off, and Kei resumed his walk home. That day was a Friday, Akiteru’s day off from practice. Kei didn’t want to be late to practicing tosses with his brother. He had forgotten about that encounter in the park until now. </p><p>“It wasn’t a big deal.” Kei shrugged and looked at Tadashi, silently wondering how Tadashi had known to come to this volleyball gym. </p><p>“Maybe for you! But I really appreciate it—wait, are those volleyball shoes? They’re really cool!” Tadashi was staring at Kei’s black and green volleyball shoes, attention shifted from what they had been talking about before. </p><p>“They’re my brother’s hand-me-downs. Do you—do you want to toss with me for a bit?” </p><p>And the rest was history. </p><p>After that day, Kei couldn’t remember a time in his life where Tadashi wasn’t by his side. He wasn’t sure what he had even thought about on his walks home PT, Pre-Tadashi. No matter, it was much better now. </p><p>The two were walking home from practice. After Tadashi had signed up for volleyball, their mothers agreed that it would be safe for them to walk home together. </p><p>On their walks, Tadashi would talking about anything and everything from volleyball, to school, to what he thought his mom would be making for dinner. Tadashi would occasionally look up at Kei, waiting for his opinion or comment on what he had just said. Kei was never used to people intentionally including him in the conversation like that, and it had taken some time for him to adjust. </p><p>Today, Tadashi was talking about volleyball, excitedly recalling the events of the day’s practice with laughs and musings about the teammates, with <i>Right, Tsukki?</i>’s sprinkled in here and there. </p><p>“Tsukki, what position do you want to play in middle school? Can you believe we’re going to be <i>middle schoolers</i>?!” </p><p>“I dunno, guess I’ll just keep being in the front because I’m tall.” Kei looked down at his fingers, long and lean like the rest of his limbs. </p><p>“That’s true. I’m so jealous of your height, Tsukki! You get to do all the cool blocks.” </p><p>“What about you, Tadashi? Have you thought about it?”</p><p>“Not really actually! But as long as I’m playing on the same team as you, I’ll be backing you up! I really love playing volleyball with you.”  </p><p>Kei’s calm demeanor would appear emotionless to the average onlooker, but if one looked closer they would see a tiny smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Kei contentedly prided himself that he had been able to help the crying boy in the park be the smiling bundle of energy that Kei saw him as now. Tadashi exclusively spoke in exclamations and head-nods, a language that Kei had become fluent in by now. </p><p>“Tsukki! What are you thinking about?” </p><p>“Not much. Are you still coming over tomorrow morning to watch Jurassic Park?” </p><p>Even though Kei knew that there were so many scientific plot-holes and dramatic over-exaggerations of the lives of paleontologists in that movie, he still rewatched it whenever he could. He’d even bothered Akiteru to read him the book version at night last year. Akiteru teased him for it, but Kei was not bothered. This was the one thing about himself that he allowed to be “lame”. Besides, if you didn’t like dinosaurs, weren’t you the lame one? </p><p>“Of course, who do you think I am!?” Tadashi huffed as he pretended to pout. </p><p>“Yamaguchi Tadashi, the sleepyhead who oversleeps his alarms on Saturdays…” Kei said this with a little smirk, which quickly turned into a full-blown grin as he dodged a jab from Tadashi for the little quip. </p><p>“Wrong! The correct answer is ‘your best friend’. C’mon, Tsukki!” Tadashi defiantly sprinted ahead of Kei, sticking out his tongue as hard as he could, knowing that Kei would only play along if given enough motivation, or in this case, reason for retaliation. </p><p>“Cheesy…” Kei scoffed quietly and gave into Tadashi’s giggles as he started to run after Tadashi, continuing their banter. Tadashi triumphantly skipped away as he was being tailed, happy to have egged Kei on. </p><p>Their sequence of ninja-jabs, feigned kicks, and cat-and-mouse chase ended as they reached the Yamaguchi household’s porch, a familiar sight for Tadashi of course, but also for Kei in this recent year of having known Tadashi. There was a comfortable pause, as Tadashi and Kei caught their breath, knowing that it was time for a brief goodbye. </p><p>Tadashi scampered up the steps of his house as Kei waited on the sidewalk, watching him go in. Tadashi opened the door and before he shut it, turned to face Kei and shouted, “See you tomorrow, Tsukki!” with his entire tiny body. </p><p>Kei adjusted his glasses and waved back, only taking a step towards home after he saw the door shut. </p><p>Kei walked at a brisk pace home, as if to speed up getting to tomorrow, getting to see Tadashi again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. cold shock</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Can you <i>believe</i> that the shorty and the grumpy-grump made it onto the team? I didn’t think they would ever work together!” Tadashi mused. </p><p>He and Tadashi were leaving to go home after the three-on-three preliminary match against the other first years. A bit tired both emotionally and physically, they trudged by the gates of the school and headed down the hill. </p><p>“Sometimes the most unlikely of people will get along. They’re different, but the same.” </p><p>Tadashi seemed to puzzle at this, but then Kei saw a cheeky grin form on Tadashi’s face. This was never good. It’s Tadashi’s trademark: the mischievous “up-to-no-good-but-you-can’t-do-anything-about-it” face. </p><p>“That was the first time I’ve seen you get riled up about a volleyball game. And it was only a practice match!” </p><p>Kei bristled at the comment, not proud of how he had let the two get to him during the match. It wasn’t like him to lose his cool. Those two were especially infuriating, but he would never admit they made him feel like trying harder. Ego a little bruised, Kei threw an insincere glare Tadashi’s way as they continued walking. He could never really be mad at Tadashi. </p><p>“<i>Anyways</i>,” Tadashi rescued Kei before Kei could come up with something to say. “Another girl came up to me today at lunch to ask about you… Brown short hair, from Class 1-D. Her name started with a Y, I think.” </p><p>“Do we really have to talk about this?” Kei groaned and adjusted at his headphones around his neck, not sure if he would rather talk about Hinata and Kageyama or girls. He decided that it was a lose-lose situation. Both topics made him unreasonably, unexplainably uncomfortable. </p><p>“I know, I know—I gave her the standard ‘he’s not interested’. You know, if you weren’t as intimidating as you are, they wouldn’t have to go through me! I’m like your personal secretary for love affairs.” Tadashi feigned annoyance and pouted as he kicked a rock on the sidewalk into the bushes. Kei wasn’t sure if Tadashi’s pretend-jealousy was rooted in something real. Maybe Tadashi wanted a confession from a girl. </p><p>“Sorry, it must be annoying. But it’s better for them to get rejected through you, since you always know the right thing to say to people. I would make it worse.” Kei saw Tadashi decide that it was indeed for the greater good, amusement and responsibility infused into his expression. Kei was thankful for Tadashi’s readable expressions. </p><p>“Tsukki, don’t say that. You’re right.” Tadashi’s voice softened. </p><p>He continued, “I’ll keep being your secretary. Hey! Is that why you wear those headphones at lunch, so you have one more reason not to talk to them!?” Tadashi looked up at Kei, expecting a disdained look from him, but instead was met with a smirk. </p><p>“Maybe so.” </p><p>“Meanie! Give them a chance. There’s practically a line of them waiting for you!” </p><p>“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” </p><p>They continued the rest of the walk without speaking, but it wasn’t completely silent. Walking side by side, the occasional brush of Tadashi’s jacket against his own was familiar, but appreciated all the same. Kei wondered if it was normal to walk as close as he and Tadashi did every evening. </p><p>“Oh, we’re here.” </p><p>The Yamaguchi household stood before them, the first floor windows lit up and the smell of a katsu dinner faintly floating through the air. Mingled with that was a lingering disappointment at having arrived home so quickly. </p><p>“I wish that our walks were longer. We don’t get to hang out as much during the weekend because we have more homework now!” Tadashi complained. </p><p>“Next time we’ll take a detour and we can talk about all the movies we will watch during break.” Kei joked. </p><p>“Really, Tsukki?” Tadashi’s beam of a smile shone in the dark, taking Kei by surprise as he had been joking. He decided to play along. </p><p>“Yep.” </p><p>Tadashi had a new pep in his step as he hopped up his porch, not forgetting to shout, “See you tomorrow, Tsukki!” before closing the door. </p><p>Kei waved, and turned on his heel to head home. His side felt empty since Tadashi wasn’t occupying the space next to it.</p><div class="center">
  <p>☽ ☽ ☽</p>
</div>“<i>I told you</i> in the morning that it would be cold today.” <p>Kei pointedly stared at Tadashi’s bare neck. </p><p>Tadashi had been freezing the entire day at school. Kei had seen him bouncing his leg up and down in class, blow on his fingers during practice, and button his uniform to the tippy top. Even Tadashi’s haphazard sketch of Hinata in his English notebook was shaky due to a shivering hand, which amused Kei because it ironically captured Hinata’s radioactive, buzzing nature. </p><p>And now, Kei heard Tadashi chattering his teeth as they began their customary walk home. </p><p>Tadashi wilted at Kei’s scolding, his perky flyaway comically doing so as well. It perked back up as Tadashi started to speak: “I was too excited thinking about how Shimada-san agreed to teach me his jump serve! I guess I forgot to check the weather on my way out.” </p><p>“Are you going to practice with Shimada-san after practice then? You can’t miss normal practice for that.” Kei said this as he tried to dispel the uneasy feeling in his stomach. </p><p>Kei didn’t like change, especially if it involved Tadashi. Shimada-san’s market was in the exact opposite direction of Tadashi’s house. They wouldn’t be able to walk home together. He knew Tadashi was set on this, though. </p><p>“Ah,” Tadashi correctly sensed the uneasy atmosphere. “I think I’ll go over about once a week and on Sundays. D-don’t worry Tsukki, we will still walk home together most of the time!” </p><p>Kei might have froze for a second, imperceptible to anyone else besides Tadashi. How could Tadashi read him so easily? He had spent years perfecting his signature pokerface. </p><p>Kei felt his ears flush, thankful for the sudden cold gust of wind that would bring them back to normal. </p><p>That same cold breeze made Tadashi wobble, legs shivering for warmth. Kei just couldn’t stand the sight anymore. </p><p>“Yamaguchi, get over here.” Kei hastily unwrapped his own scarf and laced it around Tadashi’s neck. Wide-eyed, Tadashi opened his mouth to protest, stopping when he saw Kei’s face with “don’t-you-dare-say-anything-or-I’ll-snap-at-you” written on it. </p><p>Kei was going to stop there, but saw that Tadashi’s ears looked alarmingly pale as well. Unconsciously, Kei reached out to tentatively touch Tadashi’s ear, still shocked at how cold it was. </p><p>“You’re a mess, you know that?” </p><p>Kei took out his headphones from his bag, usually on his neck but stuffed in his bag due to the cold. He stretched them open as he fit them over Tadashi’s ears, makeshift earmuffs for the time being. The whole time, Kei avoided eye contact, pretending to be focused on making Tadashi as warm as possible. </p><p>For the first time in his life, Kei could swear Tadashi was at a loss for words. His eyes were still as wide as they had been earlier and his lack of movement had Kei wonder if Tadashi had actually frozen over, malfunctioning. </p><p>Finally: “Thanks, Tsukki!”</p><p>Tadashi beamed, his smile currently obscured by the pile of scarf Kei had layered on him. That was alright—Kei knew Tadashi was smiling by the way his freckles crinkled under his eyes. He hoped that Tadashi’s nose and cheeks were defrosting by now. </p><p>“Won’t you be cold now, though?” </p><p>“Only if we just keep standing here.” </p><p>Kei and Tadashi continued their walk, Kei leading them off the main road and into a side street, which would have been strange to a person who knew the neighborhood well. </p><p>However, Kei now knew this new route better—one that he had mentally constructed and memorized over the course of several weeks, by trying out new streets each time him and Tadashi walked home. The route he was taking them on was about 8 minutes longer by Kei’s recent calculations. Calculations being in units of Tadashi-speak, where 3 minutes is Tadashi talking about school, 4 minutes for a progress update on his jump-serve, 5 minutes if describing a funny sketch he drew when he should have been paying attention in class. </p><p>Kei knew they could brave the cold a little longer on their detour to spend a bit more time together. Tadashi’s freckles creased again, knowing that Kei was taking them on their detour home. Kei glanced at Tadashi, pleased to see Tadashi now seemed impervious to the cold. </p><p>“Hey you know, they added a strawberry candy to the vending machine at school! Let’s go get some tomorrow, I know you have a huge strawberry sweet tooth!” Tadashi teased, his spirited voice only slightly muffled by the bundle of scarf. Kei’s eyes softened as they rounded the corner together. Tadashi’s melodious voice, interspersed with Kei’s deeper interjections added puffs of foggy breath to the cold air as they finished their walk home. </p><p>After the ritual, “See you tomorrow, Tsukki!” Kei hurried home, the cold getting to his bones since he let Tadashi keep his scarf and headphones for the night. </p><p>As he made use of his long legs to stride home in the biting cold, Kei convinces himself that anyone would have done that for Tadashi. There’s something about him that everybody likes. Kei is the quiet, standoffish one, and Tadashi is the approachable ray of sunshine. </p><p>But, would Kei do that for anyone else besides Tadashi? </p><p>Kei shivers, shaking the cold and that thought from his body as he turns the doorknob to his own house.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. pride</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei couldn’t figure out what had gotten into Tadashi. They had known each other since elementary school, and yet here he was in a situation that he would have never seen himself in. </p><p>Kei knew he had not been giving volleyball his 100%. Why should he? He never had. </p><p>Tadashi currently was gripping Kei’s shirt in a fist, angrier than angry. He had never seen this much of Tadashi’s teeth. Their faces were about five inches apart, enough to be a little uncomfortable. Wasn’t it supposed to be Hinata and Kageyama that were getting into fights? Not them. </p><p>“What reason do you need besides <i>your own damn pride</i>?” Tadashi roared, eyes closed as if he was afraid of the very act of standing up to Kei. Even when furious, Tadashi was a bit bashful. </p><p>Kei let himself be shaken back and forth by Tadashi’s grip. Tadashi, taken aback by the strength of his own outburst, let go of Kei’s shirt and stepped back. </p><p>The silence draped around them. </p><p>Quivering, Tadashi waited wordlessly as if those very words had been all he could say. He almost looked frightened at what Kei would say next. Tadashi almost looked like he was about to cry. </p><p>This time was different than the first time Kei had seen Tadashi though, all those years ago at the park. Tadashi had grown up, and this time it was Tadashi saving Kei. </p><p>Kei never thought he’d see the day where Tadashi was talking sense to him, rather than the other way around. Tadashi didn’t need Kei, Kei needed him in this moment, right now. </p><p>Kei felt himself smiling, “Yamaguchi, when did you get so cool?” </p><p>He had made up his mind and walked away, leaving Tadashi to cool off for a bit. They both could use a little space from each other for the rest of the night. </p><p>Up until now, who had he been playing volleyball for? Not really anyone, actually. </p><p>But now? He would play for himself.</p><div class="center">
  <p>☽ ☽ ☽</p>
</div>Kei stirred, vision blurry as he opened his eyes. He could hear the sound of the Karasuno volleyball team sleeping off their tiredness from the punishment court dives, Noya’s snores being the loudest, though Tanaka’s were a close second. <p>It was still dark out. Kei’s body was absolutely exhausted, especially after the extra practice he got with Bokuto, Kuroo, and the shorty. He couldn’t really feel any part of his body sleeping on the thin futon on the hard floor. </p><p>Except, he could feel something on his hand. Rousing himself a bit more, his eyes adjusted to the light and he saw Tadashi’s hand, resting on his own outstretched hand. Upon this realization, Tadashi’s hand seemed to grow ten times warmer. Kei couldn’t ignore the feeling. His senses could feel the soft fingers on his own. Tadashi was sleeping peacefully on the futon next to his own, sleeping on his side, body facing Kei as if he had fallen asleep having a conversation with Kei. </p><p>Tadashi had slept over at Kei’s house multiple times, but never had something like this happened. (<i>Despite Kei maybe wanting something like that.</i>) </p><p>Now that it was actually happening, Kei’s breathing grew heavy and irregular. His heartbeat thumping so loud, that Noya’s snore seemed a distant dream. </p><p>Was this Tadashi’s way of apologizing for the outburst earlier during camp? They hadn’t gone to sleep holding hands. Could this even be holding hands? Could this have been an accident? Kei very well knew that no one falls asleep like that, but entertained the idea because only Tadashi makes him consider the impossible.</p><p>Kei demands his heart to slow down, taking ragged, deep breaths. His impetuous heart won’t listen until Kei catches sight of Tadashi’s sleeping face. Kei relaxes as he looks at Tadashi, face completely slack, mouth open with a line of drool coming out, flyaway standing up against gravity’s best wishes. Endearing, and a sight only he has the pleasure of indulging in. </p><p>“What a mess.” Kei gently whispers to himself. His words are teasing, but his eyes betray his true feelings. </p><p>He thinks about Tadashi drawing sketches of him in class, Kei always surprised at how he looks to Tadashi, perkier and brighter in the sketches than he perceives himself in the mirror. Kei always thinks Tadashi should take himself more seriously and become a full-fledged artist. He has the eye and the empathy for it.  </p><p>Kei’s gaze steadily travels over Tadashi’s nose, thankful for the time he has to unabashedly stare.</p><p>Kei lets his mind wander even more; he thinks about Tadashi working just as hard as the rest of the team, if not harder behind the scenes. He’s never met anyone more quietly determined than Tadashi. Unlike Shorty, who feels the need to announce whenever he’s feeling empowered, Tadashi subtly emanates an anxious enthusiasm for volleyball. </p><p>Kei then thinks about waking up on Thursdays to a text from Tadashi, which is always a link to a Tadashi-curated playlist entitled “see you tomorrow”, a list of songs exactly twenty minutes long. Kei will listen to it on his lonely walks home on Thursdays (<i>no detours</i>), when Tadashi goes to Shimada-san’s market to practice his jump-floats. The songs are always different, but all of them sound like Tadashi, singing his name in the melodies. They’re usually songs with a lot of acoustic guitar, Tadashi’s favorite kind of music. </p><p>Kei moves his thumb, barely stroking Tadashi’s hand, as to not wake Tadashi up. He does this repeatedly, pretending like he needs to make sure Tadashi’s hand is really there. </p><p>As Kei’s stare moves from Tadashi’s nose to his eyelashes, Kei remembers one walk home from elementary school:</p><p>“Tsukki, do you know why those kids were bothering me, y’know, the day you rescued me in the park?” </p><p>Young Kei shrugs, unsure of why Tadashi is bringing up something that happened over a month ago. </p><p>“They were making fun of my freckles. They called me ugly.” </p><p>Kei doesn’t say anything, unable to convey his surprise at the reason.  </p><p>Tadashi is obviously still shaken by what had happened. Kei hasn’t had many close friends before, so he isn’t really sure how to navigate this situation. He pauses and tries his best. </p><p>Finally breaking the silence, “You shouldn’t worry about your freckles.” </p><p>“Easy for you to say, you don’t have any!” Tadashi is tearing up. </p><p>“I like them, though. Your freckles.” </p><p>Now, it’s Tadashi’s turn to be surprised. “Really?” </p><p>“When dinosaurs were alive, there was no pollution. The night sky everywhere had a lot of stars. Your face looks like the sky the dinosaurs saw.” </p><p>Tadashi’s tears fall, but he is no longer sad. Tadashi’s small body shakes with laughter. </p><p>“Tsukki, that’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever said to me!” </p><p>“Ugh, I’m never saying anything nice to you again.” </p><p>And he didn’t have to, from that day on. Tadashi never really paid any mind to his looks from then on. </p><p>Now, Kei is staring at Tadashi’s cheeks. He sees smile wrinkles at the edges of Tadashi’s eyelashes, thinking that Tadashi never needed to be insecure from the beginning. </p><p>As he drifts off to sleep, Kei finally admits to himself that he wishes Tadashi would never let go of his hand.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. loyalty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We'll be seeing Tadashi's perspective from here on out ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tadashi and Kei are walking home after being dropped off at school. </p><p>The team had slept off only some their post-victory high. Beating Shiratorizawa had been surreal, and the team was still in the clouds even as Coach Ukai berated them to pay attention during the post-game debrief in their own gym. Surprisingly, the general mood of the team was even more tense post-tournament, determination sharpened at the idea that there were newer, <i>better</i> teams to face at Nationals. </p><p>Tadashi is in his own head as he subconsciously matches Kei’s steps down the street. He was burning the good and bad serves into his memory, so that he and Shimada-san could talk over improvements when they next met. </p><p>But that’s not the only thing on his mind. There’s a small, nagging orange-shaped blob in his memory that he can’t seem to push out. </p><p>During the Shiratorizawa game, Tadashi had been sidelined after his first stint of pinch serving in that match. Tadashi went to go get his towel and water bottle to busy himself and calm his nerves. While gulping down some water, Hinata had come up to him and whispered, “Does Tsukishima-kun like you?” </p><p>The air grew unsettlingly still in that moment. Tadashi knew he hadn’t misheard. Hinata always meant what he said, was always clear in his delivery. Barely able to keep his voice from sounding like a squeak, Tadashi replied, “What makes you say that?!” </p><p>Hinata sensed the obvious discomfort and some hesitation crosses his face. Hinata wrinkles his nose. “Well, I’m sorry Yamaguchi-kun. It’s just that Tsukishima put his hand on yours for a long time while he was taking your number card to be subbed out, like he was comforting you. He also always seems to know the exact thing to say to you. He talks to you differently! He’s just Saltyshima to us.” </p><p>“You’re reading too much into things! Don’t make a big deal out of it. We’re best friends!” Tadashi recovers, breathing a sigh of relief at the reasons Hinata has listed. Hinata hasn’t discovered his lovey-dovey sketches of Kei in his book bag or something equally as damning. He was glad Hinata also hadn’t seen how most of the photos on his phone were of Kei, or Kei-related. He reminds himself to keep things on the down-low, because if Hinata is suspicious, other people could be as well. </p><p>Tadashi knows Kei likes to keep a low profile in all aspects of his life, and Tadashi definitely did not want to be the cause for any sort of labelling. Tadashi won’t let other people label them when he hasn’t dared think about what their label should be. </p><p>Tadashi, does however, remember how Kei’s hand felt on his during the game, during the moment Hinata mentioned. It felt like fire. The fire burning on his fingertips gave him the power and confidence to swat that first serve over the net. </p><p>It had felt the same as when Tadashi had boldly placed his own hand on Kei’s during training camp that one night. Did Kei know about that? He had been certain that Kei was asleep when he had done that. Tadashi reprimands himself, knowing he cannot do things like that anymore. </p><p>Tadashi is brought back to reality when he trips over a crack in the sidewalk, ungraciously yelping, but not feeling the sting of concrete because Kei has caught him mid-trip. Kei’s hand, still heavily bandaged, is tightly gripping Tadashi’s wrist. Kei winces in pain, his hand obviously not fully-recovered.</p><p>“Tsukki! You didn’t need to do that. Is your hand okay? Ushijima’s spikes are no joke.” </p><p>“Don’t mind. What’s wrong?” </p><p>Leave it to Kei to know something was wrong. Tadashi knew Kei was always observing, and the same was true now. </p><p>“I’m not sure I can talk about it right now.” Tadashi says this, shrinking from Kei’s grip, even though that’s the last thing he wants to do. </p><p>Kei lifts an eyebrow. Tadashi expects him to say nothing, but Kei opens his mouth. </p><p>“Well maybe this time I’ll be the one who does the talking for us. Do you ever think about how the middle of something is the best part?” </p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p>“I mean, the beginnings of everything are awkward and clumsy. The middle is the best part, but usually no one realizes how good the middle was until the ending comes. The ending makes you miss the middle.” </p><p>“Can you speak Japanese please? I still have no idea what you’re talking about. The middle of what?” </p><p>“The middle of everything. Our walks. You didn’t want them to end so quickly, so I made the middle of our walks longer.”  </p><p>Tadashi laughs. “You mean by adding the detours! Well, not many people can appreciate being in the middle. At least you know you’re in it!” </p><p>Kei looks a little pensive, staring at Tadashi as if he’s trying to figure him out. Which Tadashi is confused by, because Tadashi thinks of himself as an open book. </p><p>At this moment, they reach Tadashi’s house. The ending, at least for today. </p><p>Tadashi heads on to his porch, but Kei’s voice stops him. </p><p>“I hope that we can always be like this. Being in the middle with you isn’t so bad.” Kei manages, looking down at his shoes. </p><p>Tadashi looks over his shoulder at Kei, shocked at this declaration. Kei rarely made statements that sounded like this. </p><p>“Aw, Tsukki, getting a little sentimental aren’t we?” </p><p>He nervously smiles to muster out his classic, “See you tomorrow, Tsukki!” and heads inside. Kei doesn’t wave back this time, instead just staring at Tadashi so intently the back of his neck could be on fire. </p><p>Tadashi shuts the door and falls backwards, landing against it. </p><p>What did Kei mean? It had sounded like Kei appreciated his friendship, which was a good thing. Tadashi sometimes felt like a mosquito buzzing around Kei, so having verbal confirmation that Kei didn’t mind his company would normally bring Tadashi to elation. </p><p>However, it also sounded like Kei wanted everything exactly as it was, forever. Tadashi’s heart sunk as he came to the conclusion that Kei wanted them to be the same forever. Never less, but never anything more. </p><p>Tadashi swallowed back his tears and felt his limbs grow heavy. </p><p>He could understand that. Why ruin a good thing when you’ve got it? </p><p>He would live up to his name, Tadashi: <i>loyalty</i>. He would follow through on that. Getting up off the hardwood floor, he pledged to keep them in the middle for as long as possible. He went to bed, feeling strangely hollow, convincing himself that he would rather keep Kei in his life than have no Kei at all.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. shatter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s the end of the last day of their third year.  </p><p>Tadashi is amazed at how busy he had been, balancing captain responsibilities with studying even more during his last year of high school. The stress from his parents is not lost on him, and Tadashi, though feeling a bit overwhelmed, is happy to have had so many things to do. It distracts him from the one thing that’s really on his mind. </p><p>At least that nagging one thing has stayed constant, he tells himself. Kei. As he packs up his bag in the clubroom, he knows Kei is waiting for him by the door, headphones on, probably listening to 80s rock. Kei is an old soul. (<i>He doesn’t know that Kei is actually listening to one of the old “see you tomorrow”s</i>.) </p><p>It might be Tadashi’s imagination, but Kei has been always strangely <i>around</i>, more than usual these days. He’s there for Tadashi every break, asking Tadashi when he has late night captain’s meetings. Kei will bring Tadashi a thermos of tea the next morning (<i>dandelion tea</i>), huffing something about Tadashi needing to get more sleep. </p><p>Tadashi shoves his clipboard in his bag, messy scribbles on crumpled, but well-studied papers of Coach Ukai’s most recent plays. As captains, Kageyama and Tadashi also contributed new strategies; Tadashi suggesting a new play, Kageyama usually offering refinements on it.</p><p>Tadashi zips up his bag, ready to go, while wondering if he’ll ever get over his stupidly kind, handsome, and thoughtful blond best friend, so that they can stay best friends forever. </p><p>Will it be forever, though? College is just around the corner, and they’re not going to the same one. Kei’s an egregiously bad texter, and Tadashi worries he will be forgotten. </p><p>Kei looks up, sensing that Tadashi is done packing up. </p><p>Tadashi turns off the lights and locks up the clubroom. Kei reminds him to check if the gym door is locked, since Hinata went back in to practice a few more jumps with Kageyama while everyone else was packing up. Tadashi sighs and thanks him, wondering if he could be half the captain he was without Kei. </p><p>This year had been good for them. They’d perfected their tandem “Serve-And-Block”, Tadashi finally feeling like he could back up Kei how he’d always wanted to. Tadashi’s role as captain had given him the much-needed self-confidence, while Kei was as reliable, analytical, and calculating as ever on the court, bringing the team together as the discreet brain protecting Karasuno’s boisterous heart. Seeing Kei physically improve at blocking, intimidating the aces of the other teams was something that Tadashi prided himself on. </p><p>Kei fought in his own way on the court, just like Tadashi did. </p><p>After ensuring that the gym door was locked (<i>it wasn’t… — “Bakayama and Hinata never change,” grumbled Kei</i>), they headed on home, both saying a wordless goodbye to the gym they chased their dreams in. </p><p>These days, it was undeniable that Kei’s “detours” for their walk home had been longer than usual. They snaked around more houses and went up a few more hills. It got to the point where Tadashi’s mom asked what had been taking them so long. Tadashi would shrug and say the slow arrival time was could be attributed to slower walking because they had been tired from practice. </p><p>Today, Tadashi feels a bit slow, a bit nostalgic. </p><p>Instead of his normal place besides Kei, he straggles a bit behind, watching Kei’s back as he wonders how it will be possible for his heart to ache even more than it does now, knowing they won’t be together everyday. </p><p>Kei turns around, obviously waiting for Tadashi to catch up. Except Tadashi doesn’t—he’s glued to the concrete, desperate and willing his legs to move, but they don’t. </p><p>It’s the middle of their walk home, but it’s nearing the end of their time together. Tadashi tries to pause time in the only way he knows how, by trying to stop the walk. </p><p>Kei is now concerned and walks towards Tadashi. Tadashi looks at him, hopelessly.</p><p>Tadashi struggles to get a word out because he is afraid the only noise that will come out is a sob. He can’t tell what Kei is thinking, because it’s dark and his golden eyes are hard to see in the nighttime. </p><p>Kei is at his side, and Tadashi looks up at him, trying to burn this view into his memory. </p><p>“Fuck it.” He says, and stands on his tiptoes to press his lips to Kei’s. </p><p>Kei moves to meet him halfway, so that Tadashi is not straining on his legs. Tadashi brings Kei closer by grabbing at his shirt, but not in the way he did three years ago, when he was angry and upset. It’s more like Tadashi is looking for Kei as support, as he has done all these years. He pleads with his mouth for Kei to never leave him. </p><p>It’s nothing like Tadashi has daydreamed about, but it’s perfect. He can feel Kei’s arms wrapped around him, he can feel Kei’s heart beating just as loud as his. He thinks Kei loves him back, as they kiss, Kei holding Tadashi as gingerly as he possibly can, like Tadashi is something precious. </p><p>A garage of a nearby neighborhood house opens, jolting the two out of their kiss. It wakes them up, a pair of car headlights illuminating the two in their embrace. </p><p>Tadashi blinks at Kei, both of them panting heavily. It dawns on Tadashi that what he has just done cannot be taken back. Tadashi takes one last look at Kei, face washed out from the glaring headlights. Before Kei can open his mouth, Tadashi sprints away, to the main road, so he can get home as fast as he can. </p><p>As he sprints down the main road, he tries not to notice the tears, because he can’t have a breakdown in the middle of the street. He curses himself all the way home, wondering why he had to give into his selfishness when it mattered the most.</p><p>Kei had only had one hope, one request for Tadashi, and that was to stay the same, forever. Tadashi had broken it, and with it, his chance at being with Kei. </p><p>At home, his eyes are puffy as he stares up at the ceiling, feeling the heavy weight post-ugly-cry. His supply of tears has long been exhausted, so he laughs instead. The one person he wanted to talk to about it was the one person he couldn’t: asking Kei about it would mean naming it, and naming it would mean the ending. </p><p>It makes sense that things would happen this way, with Kei always thinking, observing, <i>reacting</i>, and Tadashi acting on pure impulse, as though there are no repercussions. </p><p>He had gotten what he had deserved.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. see you forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was entirely inspired by the CNN article below. I took the cliche that Yams’ freckles are like the stars and RAN with it. Not sure if I interpreted what was in the article correctly at all, but for the sake of poetic license please pretend that I do!</p><p> https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/11/13/world/earth-dinosaur-galaxy-scn-trnd/index.html</p><p>^ the stupid link embed won’t work sorry but I PROMISE it’s an interesting read</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tadashi blinks at his phone, still not really believing what he sees on it. </p><p>
  <b>6:06 PM<br/>
Tsukki: Hey, it’s been a while. Are you free this weekend? </b>
</p><p>It’s been a long day. He had just taken his first college exam ever, and he wasn’t really sure what to think about it since he had pulled an all-nighter studying for it. As he exited the exam hall, he wasn’t sure if his stiffness had come from straining his neck his test, or if it were the text he had received. </p><p>Maybe he had hallucinated the message, he had hallucinated them before. </p><p>Following their first (<i>and last, Tadashi groans at the bittersweet memory</i>) kiss, Tadashi hadn’t stopped by Kei’s house on the weekend, hadn’t texted Kei any new songs, hadn’t really done anything. </p><p>He had made a move, and it was Kei’s move to bridge the gap Tadashi had made. </p><p>Except Kei didn’t. </p><p>It was a pretty morose summer without Kei around, being used to Kei wordlessly inviting himself into Tadashi’s room during summer weekends. But, with college coming up, Tadashi and his mother had been busy enough getting Tadashi ready for his big move to university. </p><p>Beginning again at a new place, without Kei by his side was a new experience for Tadashi. Tadashi had made a lot of friends, good ones even, thanking his experience as captain for making him more outgoing and sociable. He had his regular study spots, favorite coffee shop, and hole-in-the-wall restaurant where the food reminded him of his mother’s. </p><p>He was enjoying himself, comfortable in his own skin, <i>adjusted</i>. He had unconsciously listened to Kei’s quiet suggestions in high school that he should take his art more seriously, and decided to add a minor in Drawing. It had been tough at first, because Tadashi was never used to his art being graded or evaluated by other people besides Kei. As of now, Tadashi’s first official sketch book was almost all used up, sketches of chairs and hands from his last class. (<i>If one flipped through pages, they’d find a suspicious, erased sketch of a familiar bespectacled face</i>.)</p><p>He was challenged and motivated. Yet, he wasn’t at his happiest. </p><p>The only slip-up he had was when someone invited him along to watch their college team’s volleyball home game. Tadashi’s face twitched at the suggestion, with a curt “No thanks.”</p><p>It had been approximately a month since he had left home. That was too short of a time to forget what home was like, but enough to start to feel like a different person. </p><p>Sitting down on a bench, Tadashi sighed and unlocked his phone, navigating to the Messages app. His finger shaky, he clicked on Kei’s contact name, <b>Tsukki</b>. In high school, it would have been normal for Kei to be at the top of his text threads, but since they hadn’t been talking, it felt like an anachronism. </p><p>“Hey Tsukki, what’s up?” That sounded too fake. He deleted it and started over. </p><p>“What do you want?” That was too mean, and Tadashi only half meant it. He tried again. </p><p>“Yep, been too long. I’m free.” Tadashi decides on that and sends it. </p><p>“Can you take the train to Sendai for a visit?” The response came back almost instantaneously. Tadashi is surprised. He fights the emotions inside of him: confusion for Kei texting him like everything was normal, anger at Kei for not texting him earlier, and a slight, nagging feeling of hope that maybe they could be friends—<i>something</i>—again. </p><p>Tadashi lets the last get the best of him and he sends: “Sure.” </p><p>Kei sent over a screenshot of a prepaid train ticket for the early afternoon train to Sendai. Tadashi chuckled halfheartedly, remembering with a pang that Kei had always been the prepared planner.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>☽ ☽ ☽</p>
</div>The next afternoon, Tadashi is sitting in the train, hands in his lap, struggling to fight his anxiety about seeing Kei for the first time in a few months. There is an announcement that the next stop is coming up, and Tadashi’s sits up in his chair since this is the stop he will be getting off at. Kei had specifically mentioned this stop yesterday in their text conversation. It’s a bit strange, because it’s not the stop for Sendai University, or else he would have gotten off at the one before.<p>Rather, it’s a stop later at “Sendai Square”. Just as the train door is about to slide open, he sees Kei through the window. Tadashi’s heart wrenches at the sight of such a familiar face, one that he knows better than his own. He forgot what seeing that face in real life had been like. </p><p>He steps off the platform and decides on a light ninja-jab as a greeting. Smooth. </p><p>“Hey Tsukki! Long time no see.” Tadashi smiles at him, kicking himself for the way he sounds like he is trying to make everything seem normal by overcompensating. Kei seems taller, if that was even possible. The way he stands is less awkward than it was in high school, and more self-assured. He has new glasses, but they’re still black and still rectangular. His hair is longer. Had it always been so fluffy? </p><p>“Yeah. It’s good to see you.” From the way Kei says it, Tadashi knows he’s being genuine. He fights the flighty feeling in his stomach and hurriedly asks what they’re going to do for the day. </p><p>Kei tells him to be patient, earning an eye-roll from Tadashi. (<i>“I’ve waited four months for you to text me, you jerk, if that isn’t patience, I don’t know what is!” He thinks, but bites his tongue.</i>) </p><p>Kei leads Tadashi out of the train station to Sendai Square. It’s sunny, and the square is bustling with people running weekend errands. Kei taps Tadashi’s shoulder and gestures to an older, institutional looking building that is of obvious importance. Long, deep-colored banners hang from the stone walls, billowing in the slight breeze. Tadashi realizes it is a museum. </p><p>スリーエム仙台市科学館, “SENDAI CITY SCIENCE MUSEUM”, metal characters glittering in the afternoon sunshine. </p><p>“So, when I came to Sendai, I found myself visiting the dinosaurs on the first weekend I was here, not knowing what else to do with myself. The museum curator saw me walking around there for about three hours, and offered me a small job here. I think I’ll be working here throughout college.” </p><p>“That’s definitely a dream gig for you.” Tadashi chuckles. </p><p>“You’re right. But I didn’t make you come all the way out here so I could talk about a part-time job, come.” Kei once again leads the way, up the stairs of the museum. </p><p>The entrance is large and airy, letting all the light from outside in. In the lobby, a friendly security guard smiles knowingly at Kei. Kei nods back and picks up a small device with headphones attached to it that is on the front desk. Except those aren’t any headphones. Those are <i>Kei’s</i> headphones. </p><p>Kei walks up to Tadashi and matter-of-factly says, “The audio tour is really good.” </p><p>Kei places the device, which looks like a small iPod, into Tadashi’s palm, and then lifts the headphones above Tadashi’s head and meticulously fixes them just-right over his ears with his careful fingers. </p><p>Tadashi is transported back to that one, cold, windy day, when he first became aware that he was hopelessly in love with Tsukishima Kei. When he became cognizant of each and every feeling, love so strong it knotted his heart, affection that had always been there, but never named. </p><p>This time around, however, there was no big scarf to hide his burning blush. If Kei notices (<i>he does</i>), he makes no mention. </p><p>As Kei finishes placing the headphones, he nonchalantly takes Tadashi’s hand in his own and leads him to a hallway marked “Fossil Exhibit”. </p><p>Tadashi is still getting used to idea of holding Kei’s hand when Kei tells Tadashi to press the play button on the device. </p><p>Kei guides Yamaguchi into a large room with a hulking T-Rex on center display, surrounded by a bunch of smaller dinosaurs bordering the edge of the room. There are a couple of people walking around, some parents ushering around little children while some high school students run around with a worksheet, tasked with filling out some field-trip assignment. It’s a nice exhibit, mostly in white so you can focus on the fossils. Clean and intentional, how Kei would like it. </p><p>Tadashi hears the audio begin to play. </p><p>“Hey Yamaguchi.” Tadashi gulps at the sound of Kei’s voice playing so close to his ear. </p><p>“The last time I said something I meant, I messed it up. I want to make sure it gets across this time.” </p><p>"Since I don’t usually say much, it often leaves a lot open to interpretation. You know that the most of everyone. This time, I don’t want any ambiguity, so I hope you’ll bear with me as this is the most of my voice you’ll ever hear in one sitting.” Tadashi chuckles as Kei guides him through more rows of fossils. Kei is right; Tadashi isn’t good at reading or listening between the lines, territory that Kei communicates in. </p><p>“First things first. I’m sorry, for anything and everything I’ve done. For not running after you that day. For not coming by your house the next. For the first time in my life, I had no idea what to do, and I couldn’t ask you for help.” Kei stares at Tadashi here, golden eyes asking for forgiveness. </p><p>He must be counting the seconds since Tadashi hit play, knowing where he was in the recording. That was a Kei thing to do. </p><p>Kei’s looking at Tadashi, all the while leading him around the room, meandering together, side by side, like they had all those years. This time they were holding hands as if they had been doing that for years as well. </p><p>"I’ve brought you here, to a museum of all places, because it’s where we can have the longest walk of all. In a museum, there’s no start or stop, and you can go up and down the halls as much as you’d like, as slow or fast as you’d like. I thought of you when I first came here.” </p><p>“I miss our detours, I miss spending time with you. I want to spend time with you without having to have a reason for it.” Tadashi’s breath stopped upon hearing the last sentence, causing Kei to rub his thumb over Tadashi’s hand to reassure him. </p><p>“I focused so much on trying to make the present stretch longer, wanting to preserve our time together so it’d be stuck in time, kind of like this Triceratops here.” Kei nods his head at the triceratops fossil looming next to them, its beak posed open, possibly to eat a leaf that it’ll never be able to taste.  </p><p>Kei’s voice continues through the headphones, “Anyways, this is what I was working on over the past month.” </p><p>As if on cue, Kei turns to the wall next to them, flicking a set of light switches. Tadashi squeezes Kei’s hand out of fright, not expecting the sudden darkness. There are a few gasps from the other visitors. </p><p>In a few seconds though, there’s a twinkling above their heads and on the huge expansive ceiling above them is littered with thousands of tiny lights meant to be stars, shining down and winking at Tadashi. </p><p>The gasps from the other visitors turn into expressions of wonder, and there are some claps from the high school students, mouths parted at the beautiful, unexpected display they’re seeing. </p><p>Tadashi takes the headphones off his ears and laughs incredulously at Kei. </p><p>“You put ALL those lights up there!?” </p><p>“One by one.” </p><p>Kei hugs Tadashi, wrapping his arms around Tadashi. Tadashi lets himself rest against Kei’s chest, still staring up in awe at the ceiling, imagining Kei gluing little lights to the ceiling one by one, craning his tall frame at the top of a precarious ladder. </p><p>Kei’s custom tour for Tadashi doesn’t seem to be done, since Kei starts speaking again, this time not from the headset. Tadashi feels the vibrations from Kei’s chest on his ear: “Did you know that our solar system is orbiting in the galaxy? The last time our solar system was in the same ‘area’ of the galaxy as we are now, the dinosaurs were still around. Only, their stars looked a lot different, because the universe has changed a bit since then.” </p><p>Tadashi thinks on that, as Kei is not the type to be pedantic for no reason. Kei and Tadashi have returned to the same spot, together as they usually are, but everything around them has changed—it will keep changing. </p><p>Tadashi finally tears his eyes away from the special ceiling to look at Kei, who is already looking at him. </p><p>“I love you, Yamaguchi.” Kei doesn’t break eye contact, as if he’s trying to telepathically make Tadashi believe it. </p><p>Tadashi feels his eyes well up with tears as he buries his face into Kei’s shirt, embarrassed at how he’s reacting to the words that he’s wanted to hear for so long. There’s no denying or misconstruing any meaning here. </p><p>“I love you too, Tsukki.” Tadashi says into Kei’s shirt before lifting up his head again, entranced by the wonderful, special night sky ceiling, made just for him. </p><p>Still very flustered, Tadashi pokes at Kei’s chin and says, “Tsukki, why aren’t you looking at your pretty dinosaur stars with me?” </p><p>Kei doesn’t lift his eyes from Tadashi’s cheeks: “No need.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>☽ ☽ ☽</p>
</div>Kei’s hand clasps Tadashi’s as they leave the museum, Kei successfully having taken Tadashi on the longest detour to date.<p>“Walk me to my dorm?” Kei tilted his head to see if Tadashi was up for it. </p><p>“Of course, Tsukki, there’s too much I need to tell you.” </p><p>“Me too. I play for the Sendai Frogs.” </p><p>“FROGS?!” </p><p>“Yeah. I know. I didn’t want to be a springy amphibian either.” </p><p>“No, Tsukki, that’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard! I bet frogs can block well.” </p><p>Tadashi laughs wholeheartedly at the imagery of a frog blocking a ball, but sticking to its webby fingers. Kei has his subtle smile, knowing Tadashi would love to wear his spare frog jersey. </p><p>Tadashi blurts out, “I’m doing an art minor—Drawing,” as if it is a confession. Kei doesn’t turn his head, but his eyes move to meet Tadashi’s. </p><p>“It just sort of happened, and I think even though we weren’t speaking, I was still thinking of you. I’m so much better at it now, but I think my sketches of you are still my best work.” Tadashi ends his explanation with a nervous laugh, still not used to knowing his feelings are fully reciprocated. </p><p>“One could argue that you made art of art. Sketches of me should be good.” Kei exudes pride, which could be mistaken for his usual haughtiness. But, Tadashi knows that Kei’s pride is for him and his art, so he plays along as he always does.  </p><p>“Tsukki, that’s so vain!” Tadashi’s unease is dispelled and he leans into Kei’s side, giving him a playful push with his body. This felt right. </p><p>Kei laughs, knowing Tadashi needs it to relax. New territory with the same person. </p><p>Step by step, side by side, hand in hand, the two childhood soulmates continued on their walk, one that had started all those years ago, one that might be interrupted by brief partings, but one that would never end.</p>
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